Sunday, May 23, 2010

Book Review: "Sh*t My Dad Says" by Justin Halpern ***NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN***

with that said....

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, 28 year old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his 73 year old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him.

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming of age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.


Wow, a tough decision on this one. I obviously struggled with "should I, or shouldn't I" be reviewing this one on the site. Well, there has been a ton of controversy on this book and I thought that if I am sticking true to form, I will ignore it all and put up the review because I absolutely loved the book and bottom line is- that is what our site is all about.  So, Oh My God... I honestly was laughing to the point where I had tears in my eyes. Now, considering I think I am one of the funniest people that ever walked the earth and nobody could be funnier, that says a whole lot.

The downside to the book is that the language is so foul, it makes Andrew "Dice" Clay look like Mr. Rogers or Captain Kangaroo. If you can get past that, than you will laugh your head off. As soon as I could get Mara away from the girls, I was reading her parts and quotes from the book. Another downside was in my opinion, the book was too short. To begin with, the book is about half the size of a "normal" new hardcover, and it is only around 150 pages in all. I definitely got the feel that the book could have been longer and I would have happily endured more of it. So not-so bad things, but still, that's what I would have done differently.

Justin's dad is the kind of guy that you tell just hates everyone. He thinks that the world is messed up and people are just not normal. He rules with an attitude of wanting his kids to learn about the reality of things- how day to day life really treats you, and no holds barred. I had a really hard time looking through the book for quotes for you guys. Here are a few events and the respective comments made by Justin's dad that were clean enough to put up:


"Watching TV all day is not an option. If this were Let's Make a Deal, that would not be behind one of the doors to choose from."


"You thought it was hard?? If kindergarten is busting your *ss, I got some bad news for you about the rest of life."


"There's chips in the cabinet and ice cream in the freezer. Stay away from knives and fire. Okay, I've done my part. I'm going to bed."


"No, I'm gonna stay home. You can take a family vacation, and I'll take a vacation from the family. Trust me, it'll make both of our time more enjoyable."


"I just want silence... Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

Those were just a few.  The book is a sort story, of when Justin moved home after ending a long relationship and the confrontations he had with his dad since.  In between the chapters are a bunch of quotes like up top. Again, language is terrible, but definitely makes the book what it is, a near pisser! 


**This book was provided to me by it's publisher for review in exchange for my honest opinion of it. There was no monetary compensation for the review. All of the opinions of the book expressed in this review are of my own.**


  1. Sounds like something I would enjoy reading :) Thanks for sharing Dave!

  2. Anyone who makes Dice Clay seem like Captain Kangaroo must have a way with words. Looks worthwhile, thanks for the review.